Montevista | How to Store and Share Your Funeral Plan with Family
How to Store and Share Your Funeral Plan with Family
You’ve invested time creating a thoughtful funeral plan, but it won’t help your family if they can’t find it when needed. Proper storage and clear communication ensure your wishes guide arrangements rather than sitting undiscovered in a drawer.
This guide explains where to store funeral planning documents, who should have copies, how to ensure family can access information quickly, and best practices for keeping everything organized and current.
The Storage Challenge
The dilemma: Documents need to be secure enough that they won’t be lost or destroyed, but accessible enough that family can find them immediately after your death—often within hours.
Too secure: Locked in a bank safe deposit box that family can’t access Too casual: Stuffed in a random drawer where nobody thinks to look Just right: Secure location that multiple trusted people know about and can access
Primary Storage Location
Choose a primary location that balances security and accessibility.
Best Options
Fireproof safe at home: – Protects from fire and water damage – Accessible to family who have combination – Not dependent on bank hours or probate court
Locked file cabinet in home office: – Secure from casual access – Easy for family to find – Keeps documents organized
Designated “Important Papers” location: – Clearly labeled file or folder – Stored with other vital documents – Obvious place family will check
With estate planning documents: – Store with will, trust, and powers of attorney – Family looking for one set will find everything
Locations to Avoid
Safe deposit box (as only location): – Banks seal boxes after death until probate court authorizes access – Can take days or weeks to open – Funeral happens within days, before access is granted
Hidden or clever locations: – You think you’ll remember to tell family, but might not – Family has no idea where to look – Clever is the enemy of accessible
Only on your computer: – If password-protected, family may not be able to access – Computer could fail – Digital-only is risky
In your will: – Wills are often read after the funeral – Funeral needs happen immediately
Who Should Have Copies
Don’t rely on a single copy in a single location. Distribute copies strategically.
Essential Recipients
Spouse or partner: Most likely to need the information first.
Adult children (or designated person who will handle arrangements): Whoever will coordinate with the funeral home needs a copy.
Executor of your estate: They’ll handle final affairs and should know your wishes.
Your attorney: If you have estate planning documents, attorney should have funeral wishes too.
Additional Recipients to Consider
Close friend or advocate: Backup if family is distant or unavailable.
Funeral home (if you’ve made pre-arrangements): They’ll have it on file already.
Doctor or care facility: If you’re in assisted living or have serious illness.
Religious leader: If they’ll likely officiate your service.
How Many Copies?
Minimum: 3-4 copies distributed to key people
Recommended: 5-7 copies ensuring redundancy
Too many: If you’re updating frequently, tracking down dozens of copies to replace becomes burdensome
Providing Copies to Family
How to Distribute
In person (best for close family): – Hand them a copy during your conversation about funeral wishes – Walk through it together – Show them exactly where you keep your original
By mail (for distant family): – Send certified mail so you know they received it – Include cover letter explaining the document – Follow up with phone call to confirm receipt
Email (as supplement, not primary): – PDF scan as backup to physical copy – Not all family members are reliably digital – Passwords can create access problems
Don’t assume they’ll keep track: – Tell them specifically where to file it – Suggest they put it with their own important papers – Follow up periodically: “You still have that copy of my funeral wishes?”
The Conversation When Providing Copies
Don’t just hand over the document silently. Have a brief conversation:
Explain what it is: “This is my funeral wishes document. It has all my preferences for my funeral arrangements.”
Tell them where your original is: “I keep the original in the fireproof safe in my office. The combination is [location of combination].”
Highlight the most important parts: “The key things are that I want cremation, and I’ve indicated the music I’d like at my memorial service.”
Answer their questions: Give them a chance to ask for clarification.
Ask them to confirm receipt: “Can you let me know where you’ll keep this so you can find it when needed?”
Digital Storage as Backup
Physical copies are primary, but digital backups add security.
Digital Storage Options
Cloud storage: – Google Drive, Dropbox, iCloud – Create folder called “End-of-Life Documents” or similar – Share folder with family members – They’ll have access even after your death
Email to yourself and key family: – PDF attachment that sits in email – Searchable (“funeral wishes”) – Multiple copies automatically
Password manager: – Many password managers allow storing documents – Include instructions for family to access – Secure but accessible with master password
Estate planning websites/apps: – Services designed for storing end-of-life documents – Often include notification features – May cost subscription fee
Digital Security Considerations
Password access: If documents are password-protected, family needs the password. Leave it somewhere accessible or use password manager with emergency access features.
Provider stability: Don’t rely on obscure services that might disappear. Use established, stable platforms.
Backup your backup: Even digital can fail. Don’t use digital as only storage method.
Creating a Document Location Map
Make it easy for family to find everything they need.
Create a Simple Reference Sheet
Title it clearly: “Location of Important Documents”
List each document type and where to find it:
LOCATION OF IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS
Funeral Wishes Document:
- Original: Fireproof safe in home office (combination in blue notebook, top desk drawer)
- Copies provided to: [Name], [Name], [Name]
- Digital copy: Google Drive > End-of-Life Planning folder
Will:
- Original: Attorney's office ([Name], [Phone])
- Copy: Fireproof safe with funeral wishes
Birth Certificate:
- Location: [...]
And so on...
Keep this reference sheet: – With your funeral wishes document – In your wallet or purse – Given to spouse/partner and executor
Emergency Contact Card
Some people carry a small card in their wallet:
Front:
IN CASE OF EMERGENCY
Emergency Contact: [Name], [Phone]
Back:
My funeral wishes and important documents
are located in [location].
Executor: [Name], [Phone]
Attorney: [Name], [Phone]
This helps if something happens while you’re away from home.
Keeping Documents Current
Your storage and sharing system only works if documents are current.
When to Update
Update whenever you change your funeral plan: – Major changes (burial to cremation, etc.) – Minor changes (different music, etc.)
Update contact information changes: – If you move – If people who have copies move or change phone numbers – If funeral home changes
Review every 2-3 years even if nothing has changed, to confirm: – Copies are still where they should be – Family still knows where to find documents – Information is current
How to Update
1. Create new version: – Edit document – Change date – Note “Version 2.0” or “Updated [Date]” – Add brief note about what changed
2. Provide updated copies to everyone who has the original: – “I’ve updated my funeral wishes. Here’s the new version.” – “Please destroy the old version to avoid confusion.”
3. Confirm they’ve made the switch: – Follow up: “Did you receive the updated funeral wishes document?”
4. Destroy old versions: – Don’t leave outdated copies floating around
What to Do About Distance
If family lives far away:
Mail copies: Send via certified mail or with tracking.
Use digital sharing: Email and cloud storage work well for distance.
Designate local contact: Someone local who can access your documents if needed.
Communicate clearly: “I’ve mailed you a copy, but it’s also in Google Drive if you need it immediately.”
Special Situations
No Close Family
If you don’t have close family:
Designate trusted friend or attorney: They become your primary contact for accessing documents.
Make formal arrangements with funeral home: They’ll have everything on file.
Consider attorney or professional executor: They’ll know how to access your documents professionally.
Multiple backups critical: Without family to search, documents must be obviously findable.
Estranged Family
If family relationships are difficult:
Legal designation: Work with attorney to legally designate who can make decisions.
Formal pre-arrangements: Binding contracts at funeral home reduce family’s ability to override.
Attorney as gatekeeper: Have attorney hold documents and control access.
Very clear documentation: Leave no ambiguity about your wishes or who should handle arrangements.
Checklist: Storage and Sharing Completed
Use this checklist to ensure you’ve handled storage and sharing properly:
Storage: – [ ] Original in secure but accessible location – [ ] Location is fireproof/waterproof – [ ] Multiple people know where original is stored – [ ] Not solely in safe deposit box – [ ] Stored with other important documents
Copies Provided To: – [ ] Spouse/partner – [ ] Adult children or designated person – [ ] Executor – [ ] Attorney – [ ] [Other key person]
Communication: – [ ] Discussed funeral wishes with family – [ ] Showed them where original is kept – [ ] Explained most important preferences – [ ] Answered their questions – [ ] Confirmed they know where they filed their copy
Digital Backup: – [ ] Scanned to PDF – [ ] Stored in cloud or email – [ ] Family knows how to access digital version – [ ] Password/access information available
Reference Documents: – [ ] Created document location map – [ ] Provided map to key people – [ ] Included with will/trust
Ongoing: – [ ] Calendar reminder to review every 2-3 years – [ ] System for updating when changes occur – [ ] Plan for providing updated copies
Key Takeaways
Proper storage and sharing ensures your funeral plan is actually used:
- Store securely but accessibly—not in safe deposit box alone
- Provide copies to 5-7 key people who’ll need them
- Communicate clearly about where originals are kept
- Use digital backup but don’t rely on it solely
- Create location map listing where all documents are
- Update and replace copies whenever you change your plan
The most detailed funeral plan provides no benefit if family can’t find it when needed. Taking time to organize storage and distribution properly completes your pre-planning.
Document Organization Support at Monte Vista Memorial Gardens
When you pre-plan with Monte Vista, we help you think through document storage and family communication. We provide copies for your records and can help you organize everything so family will find what they need when the time comes.
Call 510-299-1174 to discuss funeral pre-planning and how to ensure your documented wishes will be accessible to your family.